Never go into an interview with the attitude that you'll take what you can get, that you want a start in the business more than a lot of money, so as long as it's enough to let you eat regularly, pay the rent, and supply yourself with a few basic needs, you'll take whatever they offer.
Instead, march right into that interview and demand bags of money. After all, do you want to blow this interview or don't you?
Another way to foul things up is to treat your interviewer like an old friend. Address him with titles like "ole buddy," or "slick," or "pal," or even "hey, man." They're all pretty crass and offensive for a job interview.
Don't forget to use all the advertising jargon you've heard. If possible, use it incorrectly. Make a 16-by-20 inch black and white photograph. No-body says "16, 20 b&w" anymore. I'm not sure they ever did. You'll look like a complete idiot.
Congratulations! You've blown it again.
Film terminology offers a beautiful set of terms which can be screwed up without too much trouble. You can use words like "internegative" (or "interneg" if you really want to get cute), "lap dissolve," "segue" (properly pronounced seg-way), or "subjective camera." Show your interviewer a storyboard and say things like "I'd need the best boom man in the business if this commercial were ever shot."
If you don't know what those words mean, all the better. You'll look like an even bigger klutz when you use them.
If you're looking for a job in the creative department as an art director, broadcast producer, print producer, or copywriter, here's an opportunity to look like the supreme idiot. Thrust your portfolio into your interviewer's face and say something catchy like, "This is the way advertising should be done," or "Meet my children."
(If you blew your first chance to spill his coffee, don't miss this one. Simply knock it over as you hand him your portfolio.)
There's no doubt about it, when it comes to blowing an interview, anyone with a portfolio has a distinct advantage over anyone who doesn't. That's because you can use it as a prop to make you look like you have the I.Q. of a rosebush.
For example, a portfolio should have about ten pieces in it and never more than fifteen. So, you can stuff everything you've ever done into your book: every ad, every layout, every photograph, every marketing plan, every letter you ever wrote to Santa Claus. Cram that thing so full of garbage that your interviewer will want to put on rubber gloves before he goes near it.
Your portfolio will look like a trash can that blew up. You'll have so much in your book you'll give your interviewer the impression that you don't know what a good ad is, and that you hope maybe he can pick one out.
That will really blow it for you. If you don't have any idea of what makes a good ad, why in the world would he want you making them in his agency?
Never sit patiently while your interviewer studies your work. Never confine your comments to the piece he's examining. Never let the work in your portfolio do your talking for you. He'll think that you really don't want to learn anything and that you would be of absolutely no value to have around.
Make it a habit to point out every little touch of "genius" in every one of your ads. Make sure you include all of the war stories about how hard it was to get that marketing plan typed, "being fifteen pages and all." Or how much back breaking labor it took to indicate the headline type in that ad. "Why, it was enough to put cramps in my hand." Or how hard it was to get the spelling correct in the headline for this ad. "A headline, by the way, which is the most compelling plea ever written to get ladies to visit Dr. Feelgood's Health and Sweat Camp, don't you think?"
Be sure to tell your interviewers how every blessed part of your portfolio was your idea and yours alone, that, with all due modesty, you're totally responsible for everything your inter viewer sees before him: all the concepts, headlines, body copy, layouts, marketing. Everything. You did it all. All by yourself. You didn't require or accept any guidance or help from anyone. Just generally talk your interviewer's ear off about how brilliant you are.
He'll have to restrain himself from reaching across the table to strangle you. You'll make look like such a hum-yuck he won't be able to stand being in the same room with you. So why in the world would he want to hire you, no matter how good you are?
Congratulations! You just blew another interview.
If by chance your interviewer should offer to critique your portfolio, if he should offer a few comments about how you could improve it, you've got a few more golden opportunities to make a few more fatal mistakes.
One thing you can do is stand up vehemently for every corner of every page of your book. Insist that if your interviewer finds fault with anything in your portfolio, it's his error, not yours. Your portfolio is brilliant. You're brilliant. And, after he probably only has 10 or 15 years experience could he possibly be able to correct you.
